lillia's birth story
So let me just preface this story by saying that from the minute I was pregnant, I could not wait for labor just so that I could try for a bit more of a normal birth this time. Bella's birth was long and difficult and even though it was wonderful and life changing, and it was natural as I had hoped, it was not really my body's doing, and I looked forward to the possibility of an easier second baby.
On top of that, I had no real idea what to expect - this baby was so different right from the start (another reason I thought it would be a boy!), and had so much room to swim around in there. I ended up almost twice the size I was with Bella, but we also survived the chicken pox and two stomach bugs, one of which was only a week ago, so I wasn't sure just how big this baby would be.
My due date was originally the 17th, but we moved it to the 20th since Bella was late and my periods were 31 days long. As much as I wanted to have this baby a bit early, I really didn't want my mom to miss the birth and she was flying in from the other side of the country at 3pm on the 16th. I thought I was going to go into labor while I was sick with the flu, and baby would get here before my mom, but luckily once I could eat again things went back to normal.
I kept expecting my water to break since that's how labor started with Bella, but I was surprised when I woke up at 4am on the 16th and it actually HAD broken. At first I thought I was imagining it since it was not the gush I had with Bella, and my contractions only got a little bit stronger. I called my mom to tell her that this baby has a sense of humor and I'd try my best to lie down and relax in hopes that I'd still be in labor in 12 hours when my mom arrived. I knew I was already at least 3cm from my midwife's visit two days previous. I alerted the troops and went back to sleep until 7:30, something I'd been unable to do with Bella's labor.
I planned to have lots of people attend this labor. I knew I wouldn't have a doula - I tend to just zone into myself anyhow, but I knew I'd need the moral support and help with Bella, and all the people I wanted to come have nursing babies, so I'd need lots of backups. The first one arrived at 7:30 to play mom and clean up. She's a godsend. I'd been planning to make this day my clean up day, whoops!
My contractions were not picking up. Just as my braxton hicks contractions had been with Bella, they were every 3-5 minutes round the clock starting a week or two before labor and I just got used to ignoring them. These had gotten stronger when my water first started leaking, but they did not escalate. Around 1pm we decided to go on a walk because even if it kicked me into high gear my mom ought to still make it in time. No luck! We all relaxed and napped and then spent the remainder of the afternoon baking and trying to kick up my contractions.
No matter what I tried, nothing worked and stuck. My mom arrived at 4, and the midwife arrived around 6. By then I felt my dream of having a daytime birth slipping away (I had a photographer coming, see!). Ann gave me a 2 minute round of antibiotics and then we went into the bedroom to pop my water for good, since it was obviously a high leak. It gushed everywhere and squirted every time I laughed at just how much water there was. At this point I was around 5cm, but still the contractions were extremely manageable so we had dinner and started some homeopathy.
During Bella's labor I hadn't worn my compression stalkings, so I couldn't stand up. This time I decided that no matter how annoying and uncomfortable they were, laboring upright was most effective and most pain relieving, so it was worth the discomfort. Around 8 my midwife went out to dinner. The second she shut the door my water broke again and soaked through my diaper (teehee) and my pants and onto the floor. Surprisingly enough my contractions still did not pick up.
When my midwife got back around 8:30 we went for another check. I was so relaxed with her that just her touch brought me a whole centimeter farther, to 7cm now. My cervix was still completely posterior at this point, and Ann found that Lillia's head wasn't even engaged. She was still floating around in the Carribean, and if Ann touched her she could still maneuver her.
However, on this check, the water dams let loose. It was comical just how much water there was, and it kept coming. She was having to roll up the edges of the pad to dam the water and we called for her assistant to bring some more. When she got to the door, Alyssa stopped and stared at all the water, and every time I laughed even more came out. She said in all her 100 births she had never seen so much water. That last break was about a half a gallon, and now we were thinking baby might be smaller than we thought. On the next contraction, Lillia's head engaged and it wasn't long before the contractions picked up as well.
Unfortunately, even with my tights on (thank God for them!) the pressure of her head was more than my leg could take and it was like having a second contraction down my leg in between every labor contraction. I was having trouble standing up anymore, but when I sat on my beloved birthing stool the contractions slowed down for some reason. When I was confident that they were strong enough, I hopped in the tub. (Let the record show that it is now 10:30.) After that, everything gets very very hazy.
I had no idea what to do with the first contraction in the water. Until now, I had been laboring alone, swaying back and forth and pushing my head into the counter top. In the tub I had nowhere to push against and panicked. During this pregnancy, I always had increased contractions while sitting and while in the tub, and this was no different. I had to resist the urge to get out of the tub because of how strong the contractions suddenly were. Rationally, I knew they would just feel worse out of the tub and that I was just uncomfortable with transition.
Ann checked me and found that I was at 9cm, but my cervix was still completely posterior, facing my sacrum. She tried her best to bring it around with her fingers during a few different contractions, but the pain was just too much for me. I am so grateful to her that she stopped when I asked her to, because it was that moment that made me realize that I was in charge of this labor and that I had it in me to push the baby out on my own. On the very next contraction after she let me go, I pushed as hard as I could and felt Lillia slip right into the birth canal. It was the turning point in my labor. It of course intensified everything, but everything here on out was productive.
I could hear my self yelling and crying with every contraction, which surprised me since I had not done that at Bella's birth, but could not have stopped if I tried. The yells had to come out, just like the contractions. I had one yell that woke up the babies in the house, which ended up lucky since after a day of no nap, Bella had finally succumbed to sleep and I had SO hoped that she would be there to witness the baby's entrance into the world, so that she would truly understand. In between contractions I could hear everyone chatting away and generally enjoying the company, and it was the most wonderful feeling, even though it seemed like they were on a different planet. The atmosphere was just so loving and exciting and it brought me through the pain.
When I finally gave into the queasies, I had the worst vomit I've ever had in my life (which is saying something since I had that disastrous flu just a few months ago) and it burned my throat so badly that I couldn't stop coughing. It hurt so much that when a contraction started and I wasn't ready for it, my body stopped it half way through so that I could get the taste out of my mouth and try to calm my throat down. I was amazed that my body could do such a thing.
From what I'm told I rolled over into a lounging position and chatted for a few minutes. I don't remember anything specifically, but I do remember this being my favorite part of the night, knowing I was in the home stretch. The pushing stage was about to start and I was actually aware and in control, something that was very important to me. Of course, I never felt like I could handle the contractions when I was IN one, but I had my team cheering me on, and after each one the pain was gone, which wasn't the case earlier.
I pushed Lillia down as hard as I could, and was so disappointed that this wasn't the end. Ann told me to reach up and feel her just an inch away from crowning, but I was mad that she was so far away, so I didn't want to. When she finally did start crowning, I couldn't believe how gigantic she seemed! With Bella I don't recall any sensations of her moving down the canal, I was too touched out and exhausted from having pushed for 4 hours.
I knew I didn't want to tear, but I was so sick of being almost done and the recommended blowing was so painful that I fully gave into the push sensation. I could feel her slide back up at the end of every contraction, which was so disappointing to me, though Ann encouraged it for a slow delivery. I couldn't believe when her head finally popped out and I had a moment to rest completely pain free. We checked for a cord, but again I was too touched out and didn't want anyone touching me. I believe it was the very next push and her body popped out. I reached down to grab her, but the cord was wrapped under her arm, so we had to maneuver her just above the water but under her cord so I could hold her.
And then we were done. Ahhhhh. Well, almost. I actually had to put effort into the afterbirth, and I was surprised by how strong the after pains were, too. I hadn't had any at all with Bella.
So, Lillia Morgan (it took me about half an hour to remember the middle name we had picked out for her - and I have it on video, me going... uhm, it was two syllables, didn't end in a vowel, started with an m....) weighed in at 7lb 15.5oz, 21" long, with a 13.75" head. Smaller dimensions than her sister, but heavier by half a pound. We took bets and no one could believe she ended up bigger than Bella, especially after we learned that my belly was entirely water. :O)
Come to find out, that after a whole day of waiting and being so excited that I'd have my baby on 6-16 and my cousin (whose birthday is 6-17) was out of danger of having to share, I had Lillia fifteen minutes after midnight. Sigh. So now I have to remember 6-17. I had told everyone not to discuss time with me (as it can ruin the zoning-out of labor), and they did their best to encourage me on, knowing I wanted her on 6-16. I'm so glad they didn't tell my why they were so eager to cheer me on, though. :P Lillia came out at just the speed she needed to, physically and emotionally. It was such a dreamy labor, and a night I won't soon forget. (But really, Lillia, fifteen minutes? I knew you were a prankster.)
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