a more recent update

So how's this pregnancy going? Good. I can't complain. Well, I mean I shouldn't, but I do. Of course. Me and my stack of five cookies sitting next to me.

I've been a bit absent in life. I haven't even had many shoots lately. My mojo has just been elsewhere. I'm huddling up with my baby (who refuses to nap), trying to soak up enough US cuddles to carry us through the complications that will soon arise in our relationship.

We had a few sunny days in which I didn't want to do anything but be outside. Sun burns galore. Oh how it was worth it. We haven't seen the sun since. I've been sewing up presents for the mamas I know who are due in June with me (one of them had hers this week, over achiever). I've been knitting a photo prop blanket (but nothing for baby, seriously I just hate knitting baby stuff) that sheds embarrassingly all over everything (but will look great in photos!), and I've been trying to catch up on my thousands of photos that I have yet to look at from April and May. Bella gave us all a sinus cold, and the fatigue as I recover is just overwhelming. It's very hard to look at the computer, let alone use it productively (and did I mention how my own computer is broken, so typing is very hard and mostly I am just stalking people?).

Anyhow. I digress.

This baby has so much more room than Bella. It makes for a much more relaxing pregnancy, but I'm so not used to it and I keep getting stuck places or scraping my belly on doorways and chairs.

But what a personality this kid has! I still have no inkling of boy or girl. Most days I think boy, and then I'll be lying there, cuddling Bella as she lifts my shirt to cuddle my belly, and suddlenly GIRL! pops into my head. All I know is that Bella held grudges even when she was on the inside. She would spend hours a day pushing on my rib cage, flopping left to right. She wasn't much of a kicker, just a solid uncomfortable wedger. With pokey little fingers that would prod me in places few others would dare. If I pushed against Bella, she'd push back harder, and dare I say - meaner. True to herself, she did not want to be told what to do or coerced into a kinder position.

This kid is bubbly in comparison. This kid has a sense of humor, and does not get offended easily. There are some days that I seriously lose my patience because I am just. so. sick. of being a pinball machine. It's funny, until you can't concentrate or can't sleep, OR it wakes up your toddler. This one's always awake, it seems. And rarely has the hiccups, which is nice since that is one thing I just can't stand. When it's inside me and out of my control, I start to lose my mind.

I do have to put in a mention to Bella. She is in love with the baby in my belly and would cuddle all day long if she could. Shirt up, or course. Baby ah keek is what she says all the time. I'm not sure she's really figured out the kicks - she doesn't stay still long enough to feel them when she's awake. Does she know baby is coming? I think so. Does she know baby will be here to stay? I just don't know. She has become immensely clingy in the past few weeks, and no one but mama will do. I don't want anyone but me to do. I wish I were all hers.

As of this weekend baby is full term. June is an open book for us. Baby is allowed to come any day in June. But please, please don't make me wait til the end.