Another Month of Bella

Dear Bella,

Okay, so let the crazy times begin. Let's just say that this new schedule we're on might be wearing us a bit thin. You're sick of seeing me 24-7, I'm sick of being cooped up with kids week after week, and we're all sick of being sick. The weather is not helping us recover one little bit.

You actually had your worst illness to date this month. You and Lia were back and forth puking then happy every other day until finally you spiked a fever of 104 on the holiday weekend and you got your first trip to the ER and your first round of antibiotics for a craptastic ear infection.

You were such a trooper with the hours of waiting and the doctors. I could go on for days about stupid medical rules in this country, but I'll spare you because at least now we know how big you are: 37" and 28lb. Next time it will just be easier if we measure you ourselves. :0)

You're learning in giant leaps and bounds now. It's so much fun to watch, and I really need to get my butt in gear and organize school time each day. You can draw for ages (now you draw arms and legs on your smiley snowmen - people!)

You can't possibly learn enough to fill your brain each day. Right now you've mastered concepts like big and little and are working on soft and hard. Your days are spent mothering and doting upon your friends, making sure they are well read and well fed at all times. At night I often find stuffies already snoozing on my pillow for the night. You might not nap, but they sure do.

Grandma came for a surprise visit and you wanted song after song.

What song would you like, Bella? A new song!

She's good at that stuff.

Your responses crack us up every day. Instead of yeah, you reply with a long contemplative Yeyyys. Sometimes you really just want to say No! (because it's your right) so you say, No! ...But yes.

And the sibling shenanigans have begun. You like to tell Lillia when she's in the wrong by shouting, Nonono, Lia! Your mom said no! You have started shoving her when she gets to close (much to her shrieking dismay) and if I leave you alone for more than a minute I often return to Lia's cries because once again you have her in a hug headlock or you are trying to ride her.

Your current favorite things? My new kimper, the ipad (drawing with no mess ....and videos at bedtime!!), and staying in your jammies all day long. I suppose there are quite a few benefits to getting very sick.

What else is there to say? You're quickly approaching three in all the attitude it brings. This month has been countless sleep struggles with you being sick, and you have now started peeking at bedtime in defiance of the bedtime authorities. That's a pretty good metaphor for the entire month. Three is on its way (well, in real time it's already here, but shhhh, don't tell this post) and I have a feeling it will be a new level of adventure.

Love,

mama

P.S. Where would I be today without my attitude? As hard as you can be to live with, I wouldn't dream of any other personality for you.

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bounce

every night bella asks me to set lia's potty in the doorway so bella can jump on the bed and make lia laugh. who could resist?

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Lunchtime

I took a delicious nap today. While I was sleeping Bella held down the fort and made sure everyone was well fed.

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little things

A month since I posted last! Oh my. How I miss writing and wish I knew how to find the time for it.

I'll start posting little things as I go through the photos in no particular order.

What's new?

Lia has almost cut her first tooth, and Bella has a new bed.



She has slept in it every night since my parents gave it to her! Oh how I miss them. They used to tuck me in just like this...



I wonder if I hated sleep as much as Bella does? Certainly not anymore.

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snow!

Come join me over at my photography blog - there's snow everywhere!

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holidays begin

For my mom, here is Bella in the dress she made last year. She even has room to grow.

I cannot believe we have come again to the holidays. When we moved into this house a year ago I thought Bella seemed so big and grown up. That grown up Bella looks so little in comparison to today.

We dressed up tonight so that I could attend a party. It has been a long time since we have taken Bella out past her bedtime because of her sleep issues. Tonight she blew me away. She had fun, she enjoyed herself, she goofed off with my friends, she didn't get herself in trouble or throw a tantrum. As we left she waited at the car door patiently, and once in the car she had a box of stickers under one arm and politely asked for the other one in plain English. It's so easy to grant her wishes when they are so calmly stated. We talked about the party on the way home, and I kept pinching myself because it has been so long since I've enjoyed going out with Bella. It was wonderful to have a glimpse of rational grown up Bella. There's so much to look forward to, and it somehow makes it easier to enjoy what we have now.

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nap secret

No we still haven't figured out how to get Bella to nap, or how to get her to survive a day without napping.

Lia just goes along for the ride. And hm, what's that? A disembodied hand behind me?

I think not.

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helper

Bella helping with dishes. Please note how well she rinses.

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captured

A moment, blurry, happy and intense- the way it should be.

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Flight

THIS



fills me with joy. Bella learning to jump has brought me back to the days when I did it regularly, and seeing her in the moment my heart takes flight.

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Possibilities

So we probably won't do much for Halloween since Lillia won't care and Bella will panic on every doorstep. But if we did, Bella could go as creepy Hoodie Jedi, or Stealth Ballerina. All in a day's work.

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Dolls

Dolls in the morning light. You can tell this was last week because we haven't had any sun since then.

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togetherness

Togetherness is happiness. Actually, Bella is just doing her best to pretend to be Lillia here. She reverts to babyhood on a regular basis.

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Watching

Now that she sits, watching is her new favorite pastime. Bella does her best to pretend she's not there, but sometimes the giggles get the best of them.

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9000 someodd days and counting

Dear Bella,

Once upon a time you were very little and you fit in the nook of my armpit. Actually, that used to be your favorite way to sleep. Once you got over your colic and we could lie down at night, you always ended up there, no matter how far away you started out. As you got taller, we grew into one another so that you were always the perfect fit.



In the months before Lillia was born I was panicking because you had become attached to me like never before. In the middle of the night you would wake up screaming and even if I was ten inches away, you cried as if the world were ending right then and there.

Now Lia spends many hours a day in my arms and you are in a Daddy phase. He does bedtime, and when you wake up at night no one can calm you but him. If he's not in bed, you wander out into the dark of the house, plodding along behind your sleepy feet, calling out for him. You always have been a Daddy's girl.

Last week you woke up from a nightmare and wanted to sleep on my front like you used to. I cherish the quiet cuddle times you give me now, as they are few and far between. But instead of resting on my breast, your head came up so high over my shoulder that you couldn't get comfortable. How did that happen?

I don't know where we stand right now, you and me. We are at such a crossroad. Oh how I love you; oh how you make me work for it. You fell so hard this month and all you wanted to feel better were nursies, forget that it's been almost three months since you even asked last. I knew you still wouldn't remember how to nurse, but something with that familiar position, lying sideways, looking up from that familiar angle set you at ease.

At the beginning I used to compare Lia's nursing to yours. Now even looking at a photo of you nursing I can just barely remember. I sat there holding you, completely lost; I might as well have had a giant teenager stretched across my lap. I had no idea how much you had grown and I didn't know how to make you fit.

We're both working on that. Where do we fit? Whatever Lia is doing, you want to do the second she stops. Sometimes you're her big sister, and sometimes you just want to be the baby. You've even invented your own gibberish language just like a baby. (Thanks to nightly recitations of Fox in Sox.) The rest of the time it's amazing to hear what you have to tell me. You say So, um, incessantly and are perfecting my exasperated sigh. You call the tassels on your hat fingers, and your free flowing speech gives us amazing an insight into a world where nothing is boxed in. Just the other day you recognized when we rounded the corner to the cousins' house, and you know when you are in our neighborhood, too. If you are walking, you're dancing, and if you're dancing you're jumping. Your world is outstanding.

When I picked you up for nursies that day, I guess I hadn't realized how long it had been since you let me really hold you. I don't ever want you to feel so foreign to me. From now on, we'll grow up together.

Love, mama

PS. Don't blame daddy for the focus on this shot. He got the focus just right in all the ones where you are rolling your eyes at me and stuffing crackers in my face. Maybe he just loves my snazzy ponytail.

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