Seventeen, if a bit late...

Dear Bella,

Here we are at 17 months and then some. How does that even happen? Next month will be 18 and then I'll have to start getting used to the word "years". I'm not sure how gracefully I'll handle that. Pardon me if I make you memorize your 12 times tables just so you can translate your mom when people wonder how old 132 months is...

You have become an amazingly loving child. You plop yourself on my lap, give friends spontaneous hugs, try to cuddle anything that looks soft (yarn balls, diapers, stuffies, newborns), and deliver kisses with the most darling smooch, especially at bedtime when you're trying to wake me back up to play just a bit longer.

On the other hand, you're still quite the tornado, and quite a conundrum, but every moment of sweetness and peace makes up for the frustrations ten fold.

You've taken sleep refusal to new levels this month. What kind of baby refuses to nurse down? Naps? Who needs those? You'd rather spend hours doing everything in your power to resist sleep rather than take a 45 minute nap. Oh come on, darling, I need the quiet cuddles in order to handle the rest.

Once again this month you astound me with your word skills. You can repeat most simple words effortlessly. But, once you've said them, forget it. We won't hear them for some time again (even mama, sniff sniff). The ones that stick around are priceless.

When you were teeny you hated car rides. But for some reason those certain times you were content to watch the scenery pass by, you always sang to me with the softest cooing voice. After an entire life of wailing and screaming, to hear your soft voice was the sweetest music ever. That hasn't changed. You say wow and done! and uh-oh... with your husky smoker's voice. You squeak and squeal nonsense sentences to your play things and then edge up next to me and whisper hi softly in my ear the way I do when you come to me for a hug. We try to get as many on video as possible, not knowing which will slip into oblivion. It's all sweet miraculous music.

With all these words comes social awareness and testing the limits of your world. Our days are punctuated by tantrums and crying fits and furious stomping and crocodile tears and strings of nonononono!!!! Suddenly you're wary of strangers, too, and you're practicing shy reactions, clinging to and burying your face in me. And to the people you know comes extra love in the form of hugs and pats and sweet kisses (and the occasional boob squeeze for me, of course). How have you picked up these mannerisms so quickly? It seems like overnight you've gone from a baby into a sweet, caring little girl.

Things get more complicated and confusing with every passing day. But I can see how beautiful your spirit is and I'm looking forward to getting to know you as my independent, loving daughter. Here we go!

love,
mama

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Wear Your Baby

No really, do.

It's International Babywearing Week!

We would never have survived Bella's infancy without wearing her. She's a wonderful, vibrant, sensitive child and all that adds up to what they call High Needs Baby. (We just call her Bella. Or zero-to-sixty.)

How do parents of colicky and emotional children survive without baby wearing? We wore her more often than not, and let me assure you she also knew when we were pretending to walk (ie just swaying) so we got lots of exercise, too.

In FACT, how do parents manage to survive parenthood without wearing their children. When do they get anything done?

Things you can do while wearing a baby:

Garden

Knit on the go (if you could before...), and the sling makes a great pouch for the yarn ball.

Take photos! (even if you couldn't before...)

Dash through the airport and gather enough sympathy to not miss your flight.

Hike up a mountain while holding your husband's hand.

Run after and/or wear another child.

Cook (hands and feet in, please!).


For a more in depth post on our babywearing philosophies, see this post from this spring.

And in case you thought it was just me, here's proof that it runs in the family:

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The giant garden post (part 1)

Not that the garden is giant; it's not. I live in an apartment, but this year my uncle graciously allowed me access to his former garden, and I spent the summer learning how to garden The Hard Way. The 12 mile commute to the garden was less than practical every day, but the nice thing about taking over my uncle's yard is that he had fruit trees and bushes that were already prolific, so even if my vegetables failed I could pretend the fruit success was my doing. My uncle did help me keep on top of weeds and watering, and while Bella and I were away for two weeks, he and Dave made sure things happened. I truly thought it would be gone when I got back, but it was going stronger than ever!

I totally planned before and after photos, but alas, my computer is a bit miserly when it comes to photos and I don't have access to them at the moment. So this post has photos from July only. (I took some last week! Yay for procrastination!)

(We'll do this geographically, since I had a garden in the wood pile (go figure, crappy soil, but it had the best sun), in the Formerly Sunny garden, and in the herb bed.)

My big decision this year was to take over part of my uncle's vast wood pile. At first, nothing would grow. I tried transplanting things and they'd turn yellow and die. And of course a few times my uncle sprayed them with weed killer, but what's gardening without a few set backs?

Since I had read that beans and peas would make the soil better for other plants, I started a number of them there. I also transplanted sugar pumpkin, yellow squash, butternut squash, hubbard squash, and zucchinis. Over and over and over again. I also worked in some top soil into the ground and added some bunny beans and some manure tea from ducks. After about two months of failures, finally a few stuck, and when I was sure that the soil didn't kill everything it touched, I added two tomato plants.

So surviving in the side yard are:
One pea: pretty happy, but it was slow to grow and the soil here dries out very fast.
One bean: nowhere to climb, and no actual beans growing.
Zucchinis: after about 10 failed transplants, this one took and HOLY COW did it take! I'm so proud of my zucchinis. We've had probably 30 from this one plant, and it's still going strong. I had no idea that they grow in bushes, not trailing vines. The one downside is that this variety is VERY prickly and smells a bit. We're being very careful not to let them grow longer than a foot so the plant doesn't turn off production.

Cucumbers: there are two plants that are stunted from being under the zukes and tomatoes, so they are flowering but no cukes on the horizon.
Squash: of the hubbard variety, I believe. I didn't label the plants so it was a crap shoot. There are two and they are trailing EVERYWHERE. My uncle thinks it's ridiculous that I have trained them vertically, but we're in slug land, so what's a girl to do? Currently a few of the squashes get ping pong ball sized and then turn yellow and rot, but the majority of them survive and a few are already 8-10 inches around.
Tomatoes: Early girl and roma. A few are starting to get some color. I beheaded the early girl, but it came back strong, though now the tomatoes are a bit late. Out here tomatoes barely get a chance to turn before the cold rainy weather hits. Fall is our rainy season.



And in the Formerly Sunny garden you'll find:
(things i didn't plant)

Rhubarb: it just comes up on its own, and it's about 30 years old but has never been split. It's still red, and my uncle claims it's a fall plant despite its history as a spring plant. I'll have to harvest some again and compare. And perhaps split it this year, though I don't know how.
Blueberries: had a bumper year. They've been around for ages and are all types of shapes and sizes

Raspberries: a bit spindly this year, but yummy.

Apples: not a single apple. Well, a few. We have 5 trees and only got one bushel. The weather and bees did not get together at the same time this year, apparently. Last year was a bumper crop.
Plums: after a crappy plum year last year, this year we're rolling in them!

Purslane: okay so it's a weed. But it's yummy and can be used to thicken soup, and it's so good for you, so I can't discount it.

So then, things I planted:
Peas: did great, even in the shade! I had to plant about 30 to get 7 plants since someone kept eating them right off once they got to 5" tall. Next year I want to plant about 10 more plants so I get tons and tons. I used to hate them, but mannnn they're good straight off the vine! I planted a few more last week in hopes of a fall harvest, we'll see. (AND no one is eating them now, what's with that?)

Beans: a few plants here or there, but only one has a few beans.
Garlic: volunteers that I spaced out. These haven't died off but haven't grown either.
Green onions: pretty content here, but not as big as the ones in the sun.
Kale and lettuce: we fought the good fight, but someone always ate them up. Four or five survived in total. The lettuce bolted last week and got bitter but the kale is going strong. It's also frost hardy, so we'll have it into the winter. Good thing I love it so!
Radishes: so i haven't yet figured out how to make a consistently great radish. Some were perfect and all are nice and hot, but mostly they just got all spindly on the surface and never balled out. I think they weren't deep enough, but I don't have the ability to tend to them as quickly as they grow since I'm not near by. I'll have to try some more soon though since they're quick and rewarding when they grow properly.

Beets: tried a few just for fun. They never burrowed into the ground.
Carrots: Holy deliciousness, Batman! I think next year I'll just grow kale, strawberries, peas, and carrots in this garden since they can survive the shade. And I'll plant 500 more carrots. The best thing is that you can just pick them when you want them, there's no harvest day as long as the soil stays dry.

*let me just add a disclaimer here* The soil on this garden is pretty much deliciously rich clay. And to make matters worse, I didn't know any better this spring and tromped all over it to make it level. Thus all the root plants had to fight their way into the soil. Next year I'll break it up a bit more.


So, stay tuned for the Herb garden, flowers, and what I hope for next year!

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Brightening my day

We interrupt this lack of posting with some delicious end-of-summer colors. These photos can pull me out of even my most recent grump funk. Enjoy!

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The garden bug

Hey look! I found a post from the end of May. :O) Since I'm about to do two posts about my garden this year, I figured I ought to at least publish this one to get it started. You'll have to use your imagination since I don't have access to any photos from May, not until my computer gets a lobotomy.

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We've caught the gardening bug around here. Okay so it's not HERE, but it's at my uncle's, and it's a beautiful yard.

Last year we arrived in November and by spring I myself was ready to pop, and there was no way we could imagine tending a garden. This year we dived in head first, starting everything from seeds. Mostly we're working with raised beds, but they are not set up in Square Foot Gardening standards. They're big and long, and since they were put in twenty (?) years ago, the fruit trees all around them have grown considerably. They are no longer in the full sun part of the garden. So, we're doing a little bit of everything and hitting a huge learning curve in the process.

I started in the winter (the ground doesn't freeze here) by turning all the dirt over at least a foot deep, taking the green over grown plots back to dirt, but most of all, I was trying to dig up as many morning glory (and raspberry) root systems as possible. I got a lot, but I get to this garden every other day and I spend about a half hour each day pulling out morning glory. If you let ONE PIECE of root, leaf, or otherwise drop to the ground, it will sprout. It cannot go in the compost pile, either, since this one doesn't get hot enough.

Anyhow, all that work and a few things are now starting to come up. Here's life in the garden:

Ups: Bella's in the garden and playing with nature.

Downs: Keeping Bella out of the sun. And trying to weed or collect slugs with a baby in tow. And keeping her from pulling plants up. Or tossing rocks in the grass where my uncle will run over them with the lawn mower.

Ups: rhubarb! My uncle put in rhubarb well over 20 years ago, and it's still coming up ("like a friendly weed" says he).

Downs: slugs and morning glory. Morning glory may strangle everything, but at least I can see it before it damages the tops of plants. I spend another half hour plucking slugs out of the garden (they're never-ending!) and I have soda cans with yeast in them to trap the ones I can get while I'm away. At one point they were so bad I couldn't even get my lettuce to sprout before they at it off. I guess that's what happens in such a lush climate after 10 years of being ignored.

Ups: radishes! We love them, which is lucky since they're an ego boost. I'm learning that they need to be planted deeper, so that the red part is underground as seedlings. But they're nice an hot and so rewarding when nothing else survives. (Plus, who cares if a few get eaten away?)

Downs: WHAT IS EATING MY STUFF? It could be rabbits, though that's less likely than slugs around here. They wait until seedlings get to a hopeful recognizable size, and then LOP off the tops! They're doing it on my porch, too. I'm starting to blame squirrels and blue jays, but I just don't know. I haven't been able to get a single head of lettuce started.

Ups: My uncle had to take out some trees last year, so now there is an empty full sun section of the yard, away from the lawn. I'm looking forward to putting tomatoes and squash there (if someone STOPS EATING THEM!).

Downs: Uh, the soil is less than desirable there. I should have dug in some manure and potting soil, because at the moment the area is dubbed "the desert". I have yet to grow a plant more than 4 inches tall before it dies or is eaten.

Ups: Potential. Of course, the fruit trees will always bear fruit. But this year we already have strawberry buds, carrot tops, radishes, and hopefully much more. I am NOT patient, though. I don't want to wait til fall!

Downs: short hot season

Ups: Sunshine. Wow, we've had two full weeks of sun. Sun sun. Like no clouds sun.

Downs: Sunshine. What the heck Seattle? The sun comes out in July here. Where's the rain I need for my transplants to take?

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There you have it, a very sunny May garden in Seattle. Stay tuned for the exciting end of summer conclusion!

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How do you learn to let your child shine on her own? How do you keep your own good judgment from squashing everything she tries to be?

I am lucky to have grown up with a family that never completely fit in. I think we're a great family, it's just that either we were new in town or we did things a little differently, or *gasp* my parents are still married. (Okay mom, you could have warned me about how much work that has been. You make it look so easy.) I was the girl who obstinately dressed herself at age two, who wore pants to a tea party, who made myself a giant house costume for Halloween, who (garishly) decorated my own clothes, who wrote twenty page papers because ten wasn't enough, who had verbal diarrhea, who spoke everything on my mind, which let me tell you does not always seem like a great gift. But it is now.

Because now I can nurse Bella wherever I want, I can tell people we don't use diapers and not feel weird, and I can stand up for my own choices because I have had to stand up for myself my whole life, and have always had my parents standing right behind me to show me how. And while there are days that I still feel awkward doing things (like being the one picking berries on a random roadside, or standing up for my opinions in the face of a customer), I usually don't realize how odd some of my lifestyle choices are simply because I'm used to being the odd one out. And now I have a darling baby who also likes doing things her way, and thanks to my parents, I can be there for her every moment of it.

It'll take some time to learn to appreciate this shared trait of ours, to not to be too obvious when biting my tongue for her sake, to not insist she do things my way, to not take it personally when my suggestion goes unheeded. I know from experience that every suggestion my parents make (which I then ignore) is filed in the back of my head, and whenever I get down off my high horse, they come in very handy. As does the ability to ignore suggestions and pave my own road. What a fine line that will be. Teaching humility (which I, my stubborn self, am still learning) and independent thinking. Bella's going to take me on the ride of my life, but it's going to be worth every moment.

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