bounce

every night bella asks me to set lia's potty in the doorway so bella can jump on the bed and make lia laugh. who could resist?

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long lia letter

*warning: mildly heavy photo post ahead. if i could keep up with weekly editing and posting i'd wouldn't need to put an entire month of photos in one post. alas...*

Dear Lillia,

Pretty crazy. You're already five months old. I'm sure it took Bella twice as long to get to five months, or time just moves twice as fast now. That doesn't seem to bug you one bit. You're sitting here on the potty rummaging through a box of toys squealing up at me with that insane shriek of yours.

I'm trying so hard not to compare the way I am raising you and Bella. I can't imagine her having let me sit her on the floor for an hour and go about my business, but then again she would not have had a household of antics to entertain her. You prefer to fall asleep on your own, you prefer to sit on your own, and you just let me know when you want to be held and cuddled and loved. I've got the hang of you now, and I love you all the more for it.

I don't get to sit and stare at you for hours on end, watch your every thought and move. It makes the quiet moments I have with you all that more special. You don't consider things. If something is in front of you, you stare it down til it's in your mouth. If an item enters your radar, you zero in on it and watch your hands as you guide them in slow motion towards your unsuspecting prey.

Just today you dropped a ring on the way to your mouth and you knew exactly where to find it on the floor. I had no idea you had that awareness yet. You learned to talk this month, too. Oh my how I love to hear your soft chatting voice. Mostly it's when you're alone and considering your toys that it comes out.

You're turning into a thumb sucker, or shoulder sucker. And drooler. You go through at least three bibs a day. And you attack people with your giant hands, grabbing unsuspecting noses. When I go in for a cuddle, out goes that arm to attack my face. Must. Have. Everything.

I can't remember if Bella's belly was so deliciously chubby, but I'm loving yours like I've never had such a wonderful thing. Soft squishy chub. Oh my, you are just too cute. You giggle a bit more now, always when I am nomming on your cheeks or lifting you into the air. You giggle at Bella just for existing and -this is going to get you in trouble some day- you laugh when she's throwing a tantrum. You grab Bella's hair when she gets too close and rip books right out of her hands. You are quite the perfect little sister.

You're a perfect little baby all around.

Love, mama

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Escape artist

Not even four months yet and I can't leave her anywhere for even a moment. She wiggles all over the floor, rolls all over the place, and as you can see, tries to escape the swing (which has a seatbelt, I am fully aware). She's a twisty little thing.

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Swell

There are some things in motherhood that make your heart grow ten sizes with pride, just to witness. The day that your child decides to start making sentences to go along with her make believe play. (Its! ... coffee. Don't forget the ginormous pause between the two words.) Or, the times they spontaneously say thank you back to you. These things would seem completely insignificant, laughable if only we weren't so enamored with these beings we've created and their ability to learn and reason.

Bella isn't napping regularly anymore. It's just as well, since putting her down was an hour long ordeal and I don't want to resent her for it when the next one comes along. But that means, at 9 months pregnant I've lost my nap. So, I get Bella all nice and calm, set her up with her stuffies and some books, and head off to dreamland with half an ear open.

Sometimes I wake up covered in her toys, little gifts she brings me one at a time, trip after trip, like a little squirrel. Sometimes the place is a mess, sometimes a cup of water has been spilled, and sometimes I've just drifted off when a tiny little face squishes right up to mine and says, Mama? Wa pee.

Sigh.

But once this week I woke up to Bella sitting on the kitchen floor, papers strewn all about, pen in hand. She's been on Pen Probation and knows it. But while I was asleep she found a pen and found papers on the counter top just so she'd have something appropriate to draw on. (Luckily it was only the back side of all my medical releases for the midwife.)

And today before falling asleep I remember hearing Bella reach for the little potty in the sink where I had rinsed it, and then move around the other potty which we use as a stool. When I woke up, I'd forgotten it completely. Half an hour later I realized to my great pride that instead of waking me up, she had gone straight to the bathroom to go poo. When she couldn't reach her potty, she went for solution number two. Ah, my pride swelleth over for poo. I just can't help it.

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Another ordinary night

Scene: 9:30pm Tuesday evening. The family has just finished a farmer's market dinner of fresh radishes, raspberries, and peanut butter fudge.

Adults are at their respective computers chatting over the day while Bella plays with toys on the floor.

Sirens and helicopters sound outside, yet another attempt to put out an untimely fire taking over a neighborhood just blocks away.

Shawna (knitting, at last, and cursing her computer for restarting itself randomly yet again): Dave, my dearest, most wonderful husband who has worked so hard and actually made money today, I know this is a lot to ask, but would you bring me the potty? I just sat down and crashed and all this knitting and tweeting about the fire is so tiring that I can't move five feet to get to Bella's potty, but it's time for her to go.

Dave heaves a loving sigh of resignation as he considers getting up.

Bella (whose favorite game recently has been walking back and forth handing Mommy bits and pieces of things from the floor) hands Shawna what we assume is an old piece of bread. Here!

Shawna (subconsciously sniffing the air and considering Dave's slow response time) looks down at her hands. Poo!! Dave, omigawddave!, Bella just handed me POOOOOO!!! Omigawd where did it come from?? Omigawd it's on the floor! Omigawd it's on her feet!

Omigawd initiate disaster protocols! Lift her off the floor! Strip her clothes! Throw her in the tub! Quick!

And ten minutes later, we're all back to normal. Helicopters notwithstanding.

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lucky thirteen

Dear Bella,

The months are starting to run by, one into another, the way that days and weeks did at first. Measurements like these so quickly become blips on the scale of life.

When you turned one you got your first top tooth. Now you have four. Your signature toothless smile now carries the look of a toddler. Oh, those teeth. They took a while to get used to (and wreaked havoc on our ec routine). But now the giant gap between your two front teeth is as endearing as ever. Same smile, new look.

It's funny because your baby appeal seems far from wearing off. You have been credited for many aching ovaries, and your unbelievably joyful public persona has likely had a hand in this new baby boom. Everywhere we go people still say (s)he's so cute/adorable/beautiful/handsome (sorry kiddo, your hair's not that long and even when I dress you in pink people still don't get it).

First they comment on your smile and then your eyes. And then usually they turn to me and realize you inherited my eyes. I agree, they are much prettier on you. But still, it makes me wonder what the world would be like if we were so eager to share compliments with one another as adults, without suspicion or motive. I think everyone would be a bit sunnier for it. Babies coax people out of our society's stuffy, independent norms, and I appreciate you giving me the chance to see this side of people.

You're starting to talk and sign, though the meanings aren't always clear. (More? More what? More potty? More food? More Mama? Who knows...) You point and say Gah! when you want something (you haven't mastered telekinesis, but you have your ways), and if you want me to go somewhere with you, you add a shoulder tap into the mix. I see your brain grinding and whirring every minute as you work things out. How do I get there? How do I get Daddy to get that for me? What happens when I drop this? What happens when I have two people to hand things to? Was that my voice making that noise? Let's try it again. You tap dance and swish your legs around to feel the surface of the floor. You watch reactions and have amazing comedic timing (and an uncanny awareness that getting someone to eat your feet is funny).

You've also finally decided on the merits of rolling over. In the past few days you have done more acrobatics rolling and bouncing on the bed than you have your whole life. Which also means you have started sleep crawling, and we have had many long nights of me coaxing you back to lie down with me.

You rarely let us walk you around these days, since that requires dependence on people (God forbid!). Someday you'll figure out that you don't need to crawl any more since your balance is already impeccable. Yoga masters would envy some of the poses you can hold.

None of this even begins to explain just how much you've changed this month. You feed us whatever is currently in your hands and play games with us, from chase to hide-and-seek to tickle time in the pillows. I'm back home full time now, and you want to do whatever I'm doing, whether I'm typing or drawing or watering the garden. And you cuddle, oh how you cuddle. You rest your head down and pause for just a moment so that my heart expands and melts back into the right shape. You fill me up so I can handle the more and more frequent bouts of independence and tantrums. Thank you for knowing what I need, baby. I hope you will always have a moment to fill my heart back up for balance and set me back on my feet.

Love,
mama

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the big babywearing post

So here I go on a post about baby wearing.

Why do we baby wear around here?

As a babysitter and nanny, I found strollers confusing and cumbersome. Babywearing is just so simple and useful and I can't imagine getting by without it. But in case you need a list:

It's inexpensive. All you need is a sling or wrap, and often you can make it yourself (see below!)

It's convenient. Bella may be a social superstar, but that means that she has perpetual social needs, even when we're home having quiet time. If she's not at the center of something, she needs to at least have a good view of the action. While wearing her, I can do pretty much everything I do without her, particularly household chores. And photography? Consider every one of my photos partially her credit. Unless they have her IN them, she was on me when I took every photo. I mean EVERY PHOTO.

It's liberating. I don't have to worry about a bag for this or where to put the stroller when shopping. Bella didn't even sit in a shopping cart until she was eleven months old. If she were an insecure kind of baby, it's the best way for a parent to protect a child against unwelcome visitors who pop their heads into strollers and pick kids up without permission.

It's indispensable for EC. If you practice elimination communication, you'll find that babies often won't go pee while they are worn. That means that you'll learn to recognize your baby's cues to go to the bathroom, and you'll be more aware of each other in other aspects of you life as well.

It's healthy. Of course, as the wearer, you need a good carrier that won't stress your back. But for the baby, it's a huge dose of love. All those minutes in contact with someone are minutes not spent crying needlessly or in boredom or neglect. In my opinion, it creates a healthy sense of importance, connection and increases communication.

Until last week, my only experience with babywearing had been the Moby Wrap. I chose it for its versatility, from newborn to toddler in a million different carries. Honestly, it's just a piece of heavy stretchy fabric, branded to give you confidence. I learned how to wear it on you tube, where you can watch 10,000 different ways to wrap your baby up.

So why the switch from Moby to Mei Tai?

The switch was mostly precipiated by the change from front to back carry. In a front carry, I wore the moby all day and just popped Bella in and out. For a back carry, it's easiest to take the whole thing on and off, and it's a bit of origami to get situated. I dreaded doing this over and over at the airport this summer, and knew with a mei tai you just pop the kid in, tie a knot and head off.

On top of that, Bella has to have her hands free, from day one she always has. And, daredevil that she is, she likes to lean ALLLL THE WAAAAY BACK. In front, I just adjust and re-tuck her in, but when she's in back, it's much more difficult. In the mei tai she has full back support and no way to lean out, yet she can still be free to sit up or to sleep.

I made this mei tai using a combination of Beth's Mei Tai and the Man Tai designs, mostly the former. I haven't sewn in a while and I was not up for putting padding in the shoulders (or even photographing the process, sorry!). I do think that I'll make another, however, with some adjustments, because this one isn't exactly the right dimensions. When I wear it as a rucksack carry (no more smushed boobs!), it puts a lot more stress on my back than I'd like, so somehow I'll probably adjust the straps. It's also too long for Bella to have her arms out unless I roll the bottom over several times. It's like that in the photos and it's still higher than I'd like, but I know she'll grow into it.

I still use the Moby here and there because it's so comfy and it washes well. It has definitely saved my life and is the first kind of wrap I'd use again.

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Back to the River

This vacation is brought to you by the letters B and L. It would not have been possible without Bella's easy going attitude and love of life. And it would not have occurred without lemons from which we made lemonade!

This was our first vacation since we drove out here a year and a half ago, our first visit back to our wedding location, our favorite getaway, Hood River. Due to some sad family events back home, my best friend had to cancel her trip here that we had been looking forward to for a year. And I started my stay at home mom schedule so Dave could go back to work, but he didn't finish the requirements in time, so he can't start until THIS Monday, leaving us a whole week to drive each other nuts. So in honor of our last week as a free family, we headed out of town!

We started out bright and early (uh, that's well after noon here). Three hours later we were headed down the beautiful windy Columbia Gorge Scenic Highway. I've never been here in the spring, and it's surprisingly green and lush.







We did the quick deprivation fix cure: Scenic outlook, Multnomah Falls, Mike's Ice Cream (before dinner, of course!), a walk through town and some pizza! Home sweet home to our favorite hotel, the Vagabond!



We took a walk through the Columbia Gorge Hotel grounds as the sun fell behind the mountains. It was sweet, seeing everything in bloom. Walking the same steps we took just two years ago when we were married there. The air was sweet and the weather was exactly the same.





This may be our first family vacation, but it was not my first vacation with kids. I can't tell Bella just how much I appreciated her willingness to ride in the car, to be scooped up every other minute to head somewhere new just as she was settling in, to nap anywhere, to yield to my sightseeing whims and photo ops. We managed to forget her potty and she still EC'ed like a champ, rolling with the punches when her diaper was off and putting up with a wet diaper when it was on. (She even did a diaper poo. How do moms put up with cleaning all the poo? It's so much easier to sit and read a story and flush the poo away when we're done.) All this on top of her four top teeth coming in. And her left front tooth has caused a terrible blister that makes me cringe every time she opens her mouth. And yet she's still on top of the world 90 percent of the day.



And still somehow I was surprised that Bella didn't sleep. (Yes we were those people, the noisy ones next door that you're too pissed at to sympathize with.) Vacation without sleep? Not so much a vacation. Maybe it was the teething, but I'm blaming the smell of the hotel cleaners. I think since having gone green in so many respects, I have a much lower tolerance for unnecessary fragrance and cleaners. I thought my nose would return to its plain hyperactive state once my pregnancy was over, but it has stayed at the utmost height of heights in sensitivity.

It was weird waking up and not pricking my ears for wind, jumping to the window to see who's already out sailing. I missed the anticipation, but it was so relaxing to not be disappointed by the lack of wind. On dead mornings we head to our favorite diner. The one that no matter what year we arrive, the same woman serves us. She's older than me and my dad can recall years ago when she was a teenager. It's amazing for me to imagine the life she leads, watching the rise and fall of the windy season year after year. While we were eating, three more sets of baby + parent sat down to eat, filling the diner. Apparently we were the first of the seasonal rush, surprising in the same way that you look up from your feet one day and notice that all the leaves have popped green.

We browsed the main street a bit more. I got my vacation yarn (oh, you know you do it, too!) from Knot Another Hat and then we sat at our favorite coffee shop while Bella napped. They make their ice cubes out of coffee there, so as your drink melts, it gets stronger. Mmmmm. Then, (with a longing glance at Mike's Ice Cream - but fully knowing I was too full to appreciate another cone) we headed out of town.



On the way out we got some subs and drove past the Little Blue House (see above for view from said house), the, uh, aptly named little blue house where we spent many a summer day being kids. Eating cereal in the morning sunbeams, dancing in the sprinklers, and endlessly playing games, as any good vacation should go.



We stopped at the falls again on our way out. Oddly enough, it was the exact same time of day. We hiked just a tiny bit more, but this time the place was swamped with tourists. There were families of all sorts all over the place. Babies in strollers (on a steep trail, seriously?), babies on shoulders, babies in bjorns. And yet. I had Bella strapped to my back with my Moby Wrap and you cannot imagine the looks and comments I got. Well, perhaps you can. I don't think many people think twice about baby wearing in Seattle, though the back carry is less common. I wouldn't have expected the Portland area to be much different, although I suppose we were just far enough away and in just enough of a tourist area that it was uncommon again. I forgot how that can feel. Not in a terrible way, just out of place.



On our way out (yes we're still leaving, you see, we like to procrastinate such things) we stopped in Portland to meet up with a friend at a coffee shop. Oh holy yum. If you ever go to Portland, be sure to only go to a coffee shop that serves Stumptown Coffee. There's nothing better. Ask anyone.





So there we were, finally ready to leave, and Portland wouldn't let us. What the heck. We drove around Portland for 45 minutes following I-5 signs that only ever led us to I-5 South. Just as we decided to take South and turn around at the next exit, we found a tiny sign that said (405), which didn't you know is synonymous with I-5 North? We decided Portland had a beef with Seattle and didn't want people to find their way back. Of course, it is a nice city and we enjoyed our traffic tour and the sights and sounds of this lively city.



Half an hour later Bella declared herself Done With Traveling. She fussed, puked and promptly fell asleep. Dave and I enjoyed the beautiful spring sun setting on a snowy Mt. St. Helens. Few drives are prettier than one in which you can see Mt. Hood, Mt. Adams, Mt. St. Helens, and Mt. Rainier in the space of two hours. When Bella woke up, all sticky and pukey, we sang songs and whistled together to keep her happy. That last hour before you reach your neighborhood is always torture. We were all barn sour.

Until that night, I hadn't realized just how much our apartment has come to feel like home. The pillows smelled like us, the potty was there welcoming us, and our lonesome bunny did hoppy laps around the place just to show off his disapproval of our vacation.

Okay, I'm officially putting an end to this post. Awkward and abrupt: the end.

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Babies amaze me, they really do. For the past two weeks I could tell that Bella was getting ready to sit up on her own, and I was watching her like a hawk. I wanted to be able to follow the progression. I thought it would be Sitting With Mommy one week, then perhaps a week or two of Sitting But Not Quite Upright and then Sitting But Falling Over and maybe Sitting But Only For Half A Moment before the days of Sitting Up On Her Own. We spotted her a lot while my mom was here. I made sure Bella enjoyed the sensation of falling over, made sure she was padded on all sides or had my legs in triangle formation around her to break her fall. I was getting ready for the next couple of phases, but one morning I sat her upright and she simply continued to sit.



I watched her sway back and forth, arms out and toes wiggling, each appendage suddenly an expert in balance checks although they had never been used that way before. She made no fuss about it and simply continued to play. If she leaned forward, she bobbed back up. If she leaned backward, she caught her balance. If she looked up, she didn't topple over from the effort of concentration. I was flabbergasted, though I suppose there was no reason for it. This has always been her way. One day she seems so far from accomplishing anything, and the next day she's done it.


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I haven't said a whole lot about EC on this blog, probably because there haven't been many revelations of late. Bella generally has no diaper during the day and we just bring her to the bathroom when she tells us she needs to go, or timing suggests she might be ready. Realizing that she would be sitting up soon, we got her a potty made just for tiny little bums. It is absolutely amazing. I think our catches have doubled, and it's mostly because I'm not occupied by holding her over the toilet, my back getting sorer every moment she's not peeing. She enjoys sitting in her new potty playing or having me read to her, so I have infinitely more patience to wait her out. Before, I was constantly lamenting about how I would know she had to go, but I just didn't have the energy to hover over the toilet for 5 minutes while she got her bowel muscles in order. I know kids like to take their time, and this potty is the best answer to my impatience.

Bella enjoying the simultaneous wonders of a spoon and a potty (she sits! on her own!)

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PS. Bella also had her first day of shoes this week and let me tell you she will just have to be a barefoot kiddo. Do not be misled by the giggly face in this photo. She stared at them for a whole minute after we stood her up (after enduring tearful complaints while donning them) and then the rest of the afternoon they became an experiment in percussion as she used them to kick her car seat with a satisfying thump.
Six months without shoes, says Dave. Can you imagine going that long without shoes?

Her whole life, I say. Until today she has lived a life without shoes.

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My Multitalented Daughter

So in the last two weeks, Bella has become a great multitasker. She's a baby born for this modern world! She has determined that feet are as useful as they are fascinating. Severely disgruntled that she can't get them close enough to her mouth to suck on, my little fist addict has learned that feet can jingle the mobile just as well as her hands. Why bother to relinquish a hand (the double fisted hand suck is a very important skill), when she can just as easily use her feet to play with her toys! I guess when you think about having unrefined motor skills, feet aren't much different than hands! I hope she won't be dismayed when we break the news that feet are mostly for walking.


Her second revelation in the past week has been mirrors. Being ECers, we spend quite a lot of quality time in the bathroom. First, they were confusing, but now she realizes that the person in the mirror is ALSO Mommy! Oh my! So now she stares and stares at the people in the mirror, especially the funny looking baby who is always smiling back at her. When mommy looks right at her in the mirror, it elicits all sorts of squeakles (we're not all the way to giggles yet). The only time she gets a bit concerned is when I'm looking at her in the mirror, and then I start talking behind her as well. How can there be two mommies? Oh well, the more the merrier, and let the squeakling continue!

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Milk, not Poo

When Isabelle woke up, I pulled her out of the wrap and took her to the bathroom. There I was, holding her, and she was smiley as always, but gave no indication of needing to go. But this is when she always goes, I thought to myself. While we were enjoying ourselves she turned to me, looked straight into my eyes, opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue. I copied her, thinking she was making up a new game, and we went at it for a while until my light bulb turned on. "Earth to mommy. I don't have to go yet, I'm hungry. Milk, not poo." So I took her to the couch, fed her, and when she got bored I brought her back to the bathroom where she promptly did her business.

Alas, ECing is about listening to the child, not yourself. Would I otherwise have ever imagined in my wildest dreams that a two month old baby could tell me not only when she needed to go, but precisely when she did not? Just to prove the point further, and to keep me from thinking I had imagined it all, she did the exact same thing after her second nap. That's my Bella, always wanting to do thing her way since day one.

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