savoring: june's here!

1. BELLA'S FIRST STEPS! On Saturday night when I got home from work, I bribed my little computer addict with my very clickety keyboard, and she took a step with her left foot, and then did it again a few minutes later! And then on Sunday we were at a playground before I headed to work, and she took two steps in a row. I'm so excited!



2. Babies that heal and forget. Ugh. If I had messed up my mouth as badly, I would have complained all week. She's already back to normal, just three days after sheering off some of her top gums with her bottom teeth. Yum.

3. Our first garden fresh salad. Made so much sweeter by Dave handing me little pieces of lettuce (ooh, here, let's split this one, it's soooo good!) and asking me why it took me so long to introduce him to homegrown food. (Why did it take me so long myself?)

4. A transplant that survived the desert portion of my garden! Of course, now I've gone back and planted even more... aka waaay too many since it's squash!

5. Jamie at Home. I heard this mentioned the other day online (where??) and immediately got it out at the library. Now I want to own it. It's about cooking the food you grow. So it includes gardening tips. AND he names his recipes things like "rhubarb and custard kinda soufflé", uses blob as a verb, describes the stages of the recipe vibrantly, and includes common sense advice everywhere he can. It's an awesome book.

6. A baby with words. Even if they only have meaning between the two of us.



7. A baby who's ready to eat fruit this summer! I'm so excited.



8. A clothesline on our porch. We'll get greener bit by bit.

9. Bella's sudden fascination with the ceiling, and the look on her face when she gets to touch it. I seriously think she just noticed it and realized it was something tangible. (We have a popcorn ceiling, so all the better!)

10. Our Farmer's Market opens today! As soon as Bella wakes up, we're heading out.

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love thursday again

oh this baby. she always wakes up crying in the mornings. deep, wrenching tears that make me wonder what she dreams about. she tries to get up, so many times. crying and blindly plopping one rubbery limb in front of the other, still asleep and searching for comfort.

and when she finds me, we cuddle together. belly to belly, the way it always has been. head on my chest, drifting back to sleep or waking ever so slowly. content to just listen to the rhythm of my heart. i'm afraid to move, afraid to break the spell. sometimes she sits up for a moment and a half-grin crosses her face before she realizes her body is still numb from sleep, and she slops back on to me, sinks back into me. she looks up from time to time, coyly, just to make sure i'm there. maybe to reassure me i'm not imagining this dream come true.

i love our mornings together, silent cuddles, tears and all.

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a rhodie story

This is my uncle's yard.




This is also the land of rhododendrons.



This is where I do all my gardening.



This is my garden.


These are my friends.

The air practically vibrates from the hum of these bees working away. I think we make a great team.

There is no where you can stand on my uncle's property and not see a rhododendron. They bloom for months because when one is done, another begins. Right now almost all of them are at some colorful point. The ones near the garden are particularly happy since they used to have to share land with trees, which had to be cut down last year. Now they rule the roost. It makes for a very pleasant garden and wonderful photography subjects.

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a photo hike

I have like a million post planned. But the sun came out. For all of you NOT from Seattle, you have to understand what this means. If you ask a Seattleite when summer starts, they will say, July fifth. It's ALWAYS the day after Independence Day. Memorial Day weekend (that's this weekend) is notoriously rainy. Last year all the local CSAs were sending out apologies because it was so cold and rainy the only crop growing was lettuce, and even that was tricky. So the fact that the sun is out and there is nary a cloud to be seen, well, I haven't gotten anything done. The house is a mess, laundry is everywhere, sewing lies unsewn, photos sit unedited, blogging remains unblogged.

BUT, I have treated it like a mini vacation, and have been outside quite a bit. So here I am to share with you the beauty that is the Pacific Northwest (heretofore PNW), the reason Seattleites brave the dreary fall and winter. Summer here is like no other, and spring like this is even better.

Ronnie and I decided to take advantage of this amazing weather and we headed to a hike that I haven't been on since Bella was a few months old. It's rather steep, but very beautiful since it snakes along a river and crosses over two water falls. (Hence its name, Twin Falls).

Ronnie was a wonderful hiking partner and never once rolled her eyes (that I could see!) when I asked her to stop (yet again) for the camera. And to change my lens. And to pose on a bench with Bella.

The forests here are not at all like the ones I grew up with in New England. The PNW forests smell sweeter, somehow (maybe all those wild berries), and have moss hanging from every branch. And it seems to me that there are way more water falls here! Anyhow, enjoy this little photo tour of the PNW in spring:

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savoring: a secret revealed

Sometime before Christmas, our knit group found out that one (one, hah!) of our members was expecting her first baby. Well, you know crafty people. Crafty people can't possibly let such a wonderful occasion pass by without some handmade gift giving!

So, Angi from Swell Yarn spun up a special MJ inspired collection of colors, and the rest of the group knit them into squares. We had the seaming party two weeks ago (we kept the cursing to a minimum), Rhonda and Erica graciously finished it and worked all my ends in ;o) and last week we had the pleasure of giving it to MJ! It was a blast, but a lot of hard work. So if you're expecting, don't plan to get such an elaborate gift from this group any time soon unless you promise to break down in tears of gratitude and knit socks for each of the participants in return.

The rest of the post is just photos, enjoy!

Amy, Rhonda, Erica and Beorn at the seaming party:













MJ unwrapping the blanket at Starbucks, where we meet (re: monopolize) every Wednesday (sorry these are red, I didn't fix the colors):



The beautiful Gwen multitasking with Bella. (She's a natural.)


The unveiling reactions (mostly responding to the fact that MJ didn't break down into tears of gratitude and promise each of us her firstborn child).


Special edition of our weekly game of Pass the FO:


Emiko, Erica, and Gwen (note Bella's snazzy perma-hawk).





Did I mention we completely take over Starbucks? Yes, that's a swift hard at work in the back ground.


And Angi herself admiring the different ways people worked her yarn:


MJ taking time to admire each square (but of course, she's covering mine up):





Happy blanketing, MJ!

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lucky thirteen

Dear Bella,

The months are starting to run by, one into another, the way that days and weeks did at first. Measurements like these so quickly become blips on the scale of life.

When you turned one you got your first top tooth. Now you have four. Your signature toothless smile now carries the look of a toddler. Oh, those teeth. They took a while to get used to (and wreaked havoc on our ec routine). But now the giant gap between your two front teeth is as endearing as ever. Same smile, new look.

It's funny because your baby appeal seems far from wearing off. You have been credited for many aching ovaries, and your unbelievably joyful public persona has likely had a hand in this new baby boom. Everywhere we go people still say (s)he's so cute/adorable/beautiful/handsome (sorry kiddo, your hair's not that long and even when I dress you in pink people still don't get it).

First they comment on your smile and then your eyes. And then usually they turn to me and realize you inherited my eyes. I agree, they are much prettier on you. But still, it makes me wonder what the world would be like if we were so eager to share compliments with one another as adults, without suspicion or motive. I think everyone would be a bit sunnier for it. Babies coax people out of our society's stuffy, independent norms, and I appreciate you giving me the chance to see this side of people.

You're starting to talk and sign, though the meanings aren't always clear. (More? More what? More potty? More food? More Mama? Who knows...) You point and say Gah! when you want something (you haven't mastered telekinesis, but you have your ways), and if you want me to go somewhere with you, you add a shoulder tap into the mix. I see your brain grinding and whirring every minute as you work things out. How do I get there? How do I get Daddy to get that for me? What happens when I drop this? What happens when I have two people to hand things to? Was that my voice making that noise? Let's try it again. You tap dance and swish your legs around to feel the surface of the floor. You watch reactions and have amazing comedic timing (and an uncanny awareness that getting someone to eat your feet is funny).

You've also finally decided on the merits of rolling over. In the past few days you have done more acrobatics rolling and bouncing on the bed than you have your whole life. Which also means you have started sleep crawling, and we have had many long nights of me coaxing you back to lie down with me.

You rarely let us walk you around these days, since that requires dependence on people (God forbid!). Someday you'll figure out that you don't need to crawl any more since your balance is already impeccable. Yoga masters would envy some of the poses you can hold.

None of this even begins to explain just how much you've changed this month. You feed us whatever is currently in your hands and play games with us, from chase to hide-and-seek to tickle time in the pillows. I'm back home full time now, and you want to do whatever I'm doing, whether I'm typing or drawing or watering the garden. And you cuddle, oh how you cuddle. You rest your head down and pause for just a moment so that my heart expands and melts back into the right shape. You fill me up so I can handle the more and more frequent bouts of independence and tantrums. Thank you for knowing what I need, baby. I hope you will always have a moment to fill my heart back up for balance and set me back on my feet.

Love,
mama

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black and white

Shutter Sisters today has asked for black and white photos, a peek into their undefinable, unique beauty.

Last week a friend obliged me and let me follow her around with a camera one afternoon to play photographer. It was a ton of fun, and like I said, I made a ton of rookie mistakes and learned more than I could imagine. I'm in the process of editing the bazillion photos (so many options, so many photos, how do photographers do it?), but there is one shot that I took out of the trash can and uncrumpled (so to speak!) to find this little gem. It makes me smile.

I'm usually not much of a black and white fan, but it does well to show emotion, and it does well to bring out the best in grainy photos. (Er, yeah, did I mention rookie mistakes, like shooting in full sun at a high iso simply because I never checked my settings?) So there you are, my first foray into black and white.

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the big babywearing post

So here I go on a post about baby wearing.

Why do we baby wear around here?

As a babysitter and nanny, I found strollers confusing and cumbersome. Babywearing is just so simple and useful and I can't imagine getting by without it. But in case you need a list:

It's inexpensive. All you need is a sling or wrap, and often you can make it yourself (see below!)

It's convenient. Bella may be a social superstar, but that means that she has perpetual social needs, even when we're home having quiet time. If she's not at the center of something, she needs to at least have a good view of the action. While wearing her, I can do pretty much everything I do without her, particularly household chores. And photography? Consider every one of my photos partially her credit. Unless they have her IN them, she was on me when I took every photo. I mean EVERY PHOTO.

It's liberating. I don't have to worry about a bag for this or where to put the stroller when shopping. Bella didn't even sit in a shopping cart until she was eleven months old. If she were an insecure kind of baby, it's the best way for a parent to protect a child against unwelcome visitors who pop their heads into strollers and pick kids up without permission.

It's indispensable for EC. If you practice elimination communication, you'll find that babies often won't go pee while they are worn. That means that you'll learn to recognize your baby's cues to go to the bathroom, and you'll be more aware of each other in other aspects of you life as well.

It's healthy. Of course, as the wearer, you need a good carrier that won't stress your back. But for the baby, it's a huge dose of love. All those minutes in contact with someone are minutes not spent crying needlessly or in boredom or neglect. In my opinion, it creates a healthy sense of importance, connection and increases communication.

Until last week, my only experience with babywearing had been the Moby Wrap. I chose it for its versatility, from newborn to toddler in a million different carries. Honestly, it's just a piece of heavy stretchy fabric, branded to give you confidence. I learned how to wear it on you tube, where you can watch 10,000 different ways to wrap your baby up.

So why the switch from Moby to Mei Tai?

The switch was mostly precipiated by the change from front to back carry. In a front carry, I wore the moby all day and just popped Bella in and out. For a back carry, it's easiest to take the whole thing on and off, and it's a bit of origami to get situated. I dreaded doing this over and over at the airport this summer, and knew with a mei tai you just pop the kid in, tie a knot and head off.

On top of that, Bella has to have her hands free, from day one she always has. And, daredevil that she is, she likes to lean ALLLL THE WAAAAY BACK. In front, I just adjust and re-tuck her in, but when she's in back, it's much more difficult. In the mei tai she has full back support and no way to lean out, yet she can still be free to sit up or to sleep.

I made this mei tai using a combination of Beth's Mei Tai and the Man Tai designs, mostly the former. I haven't sewn in a while and I was not up for putting padding in the shoulders (or even photographing the process, sorry!). I do think that I'll make another, however, with some adjustments, because this one isn't exactly the right dimensions. When I wear it as a rucksack carry (no more smushed boobs!), it puts a lot more stress on my back than I'd like, so somehow I'll probably adjust the straps. It's also too long for Bella to have her arms out unless I roll the bottom over several times. It's like that in the photos and it's still higher than I'd like, but I know she'll grow into it.

I still use the Moby here and there because it's so comfy and it washes well. It has definitely saved my life and is the first kind of wrap I'd use again.

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