black and white

Shutter Sisters today has asked for black and white photos, a peek into their undefinable, unique beauty.

Last week a friend obliged me and let me follow her around with a camera one afternoon to play photographer. It was a ton of fun, and like I said, I made a ton of rookie mistakes and learned more than I could imagine. I'm in the process of editing the bazillion photos (so many options, so many photos, how do photographers do it?), but there is one shot that I took out of the trash can and uncrumpled (so to speak!) to find this little gem. It makes me smile.

I'm usually not much of a black and white fan, but it does well to show emotion, and it does well to bring out the best in grainy photos. (Er, yeah, did I mention rookie mistakes, like shooting in full sun at a high iso simply because I never checked my settings?) So there you are, my first foray into black and white.

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the big babywearing post

So here I go on a post about baby wearing.

Why do we baby wear around here?

As a babysitter and nanny, I found strollers confusing and cumbersome. Babywearing is just so simple and useful and I can't imagine getting by without it. But in case you need a list:

It's inexpensive. All you need is a sling or wrap, and often you can make it yourself (see below!)

It's convenient. Bella may be a social superstar, but that means that she has perpetual social needs, even when we're home having quiet time. If she's not at the center of something, she needs to at least have a good view of the action. While wearing her, I can do pretty much everything I do without her, particularly household chores. And photography? Consider every one of my photos partially her credit. Unless they have her IN them, she was on me when I took every photo. I mean EVERY PHOTO.

It's liberating. I don't have to worry about a bag for this or where to put the stroller when shopping. Bella didn't even sit in a shopping cart until she was eleven months old. If she were an insecure kind of baby, it's the best way for a parent to protect a child against unwelcome visitors who pop their heads into strollers and pick kids up without permission.

It's indispensable for EC. If you practice elimination communication, you'll find that babies often won't go pee while they are worn. That means that you'll learn to recognize your baby's cues to go to the bathroom, and you'll be more aware of each other in other aspects of you life as well.

It's healthy. Of course, as the wearer, you need a good carrier that won't stress your back. But for the baby, it's a huge dose of love. All those minutes in contact with someone are minutes not spent crying needlessly or in boredom or neglect. In my opinion, it creates a healthy sense of importance, connection and increases communication.

Until last week, my only experience with babywearing had been the Moby Wrap. I chose it for its versatility, from newborn to toddler in a million different carries. Honestly, it's just a piece of heavy stretchy fabric, branded to give you confidence. I learned how to wear it on you tube, where you can watch 10,000 different ways to wrap your baby up.

So why the switch from Moby to Mei Tai?

The switch was mostly precipiated by the change from front to back carry. In a front carry, I wore the moby all day and just popped Bella in and out. For a back carry, it's easiest to take the whole thing on and off, and it's a bit of origami to get situated. I dreaded doing this over and over at the airport this summer, and knew with a mei tai you just pop the kid in, tie a knot and head off.

On top of that, Bella has to have her hands free, from day one she always has. And, daredevil that she is, she likes to lean ALLLL THE WAAAAY BACK. In front, I just adjust and re-tuck her in, but when she's in back, it's much more difficult. In the mei tai she has full back support and no way to lean out, yet she can still be free to sit up or to sleep.

I made this mei tai using a combination of Beth's Mei Tai and the Man Tai designs, mostly the former. I haven't sewn in a while and I was not up for putting padding in the shoulders (or even photographing the process, sorry!). I do think that I'll make another, however, with some adjustments, because this one isn't exactly the right dimensions. When I wear it as a rucksack carry (no more smushed boobs!), it puts a lot more stress on my back than I'd like, so somehow I'll probably adjust the straps. It's also too long for Bella to have her arms out unless I roll the bottom over several times. It's like that in the photos and it's still higher than I'd like, but I know she'll grow into it.

I still use the Moby here and there because it's so comfy and it washes well. It has definitely saved my life and is the first kind of wrap I'd use again.

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In which my milk lets down.

Dear Bella,

Thank you ever so much for your continual smiles, joyous perspective, unconditional love, and the general spice you add to life. You make every moment of motherhood worthwhile. Every moment.

But thank you especially for your sweet gift to me this Mother's Day, my name. Following months and months of Daddee, you've said Mum twice this week, a sweet little word that melts my heart in the way no other can. I hope someday you, too, will know the love that flows out of that word.

Thank you, darling. I love you to pieces.

mama

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Savoring: Tagged

Well, I was tagged. And I have to admit I'm not a tagging kind of person, but it's a topic I like so I'll do my best to write and pass it on. (Though I don't think I can bring myself to tag 5 more people. I'm no good with rules.)

So a while back, a chain of posts around the world began about a mother's response to the question Don't you just love being a mom? And we all know the answer: Yes, but... Thus began the query of five things you DO love about being a mom. There's even a photo response over at Shutter Sisters. So, without further ado, I join in on The World According to Mom.



1. I that love I'm sitting here thirsty and trapped under a 25lb body as my butt goes numb, but I am completely content because I am rocking my baby to the soft spattering rain outside. Savoring it because she is my first and my life is simple enough that I can sit down to nurse her grumps away and unexpectedly find myself winding back the clock. My baby forever.

2. I love the feelings of her arms around me and her head on my shoulder. I remember the first moment her tight little body loosened up as I carried her sleeping from the car and her arms draped across my neck for the first time.



3. I love watching her learn and interact. Yesterday we played a game of give and take with a piece of trash for twenty minutes. Here you go. Thank you. And then Dave came home and we threw him into the mix and it was a whole new world as the game went from two people trading to three people passing.



4. I love her fresh perspective and (even though it's a big responsibility) knowing that I'm her first filter. I thought I was open minded until I see what it really means to have NO preconceived notions.



5. I love that I'm the mom. I hope I never end up saying, Because I'm the mom, since I hated that phrase as a kid. But I love the truth of it. Cookies for dinner? Sure. Splashing in the tub? It's exercise. Vacation tomorrow? Hop in the car. Markers all over our bodies? It's art. No one but myself to answer to.


So there, a tiny slice of what I love today. It changes with the wind so stop back for more any time. I'm going to pass this along (without obligation!) to two wonderful, loving moms: Julie at Julie's World in the World and Renee at FIMBY. Feel free to tag yourself if you're reading this, or just take a second to think of the things that you love about life right now.

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Back to the River

This vacation is brought to you by the letters B and L. It would not have been possible without Bella's easy going attitude and love of life. And it would not have occurred without lemons from which we made lemonade!

This was our first vacation since we drove out here a year and a half ago, our first visit back to our wedding location, our favorite getaway, Hood River. Due to some sad family events back home, my best friend had to cancel her trip here that we had been looking forward to for a year. And I started my stay at home mom schedule so Dave could go back to work, but he didn't finish the requirements in time, so he can't start until THIS Monday, leaving us a whole week to drive each other nuts. So in honor of our last week as a free family, we headed out of town!

We started out bright and early (uh, that's well after noon here). Three hours later we were headed down the beautiful windy Columbia Gorge Scenic Highway. I've never been here in the spring, and it's surprisingly green and lush.







We did the quick deprivation fix cure: Scenic outlook, Multnomah Falls, Mike's Ice Cream (before dinner, of course!), a walk through town and some pizza! Home sweet home to our favorite hotel, the Vagabond!



We took a walk through the Columbia Gorge Hotel grounds as the sun fell behind the mountains. It was sweet, seeing everything in bloom. Walking the same steps we took just two years ago when we were married there. The air was sweet and the weather was exactly the same.





This may be our first family vacation, but it was not my first vacation with kids. I can't tell Bella just how much I appreciated her willingness to ride in the car, to be scooped up every other minute to head somewhere new just as she was settling in, to nap anywhere, to yield to my sightseeing whims and photo ops. We managed to forget her potty and she still EC'ed like a champ, rolling with the punches when her diaper was off and putting up with a wet diaper when it was on. (She even did a diaper poo. How do moms put up with cleaning all the poo? It's so much easier to sit and read a story and flush the poo away when we're done.) All this on top of her four top teeth coming in. And her left front tooth has caused a terrible blister that makes me cringe every time she opens her mouth. And yet she's still on top of the world 90 percent of the day.



And still somehow I was surprised that Bella didn't sleep. (Yes we were those people, the noisy ones next door that you're too pissed at to sympathize with.) Vacation without sleep? Not so much a vacation. Maybe it was the teething, but I'm blaming the smell of the hotel cleaners. I think since having gone green in so many respects, I have a much lower tolerance for unnecessary fragrance and cleaners. I thought my nose would return to its plain hyperactive state once my pregnancy was over, but it has stayed at the utmost height of heights in sensitivity.

It was weird waking up and not pricking my ears for wind, jumping to the window to see who's already out sailing. I missed the anticipation, but it was so relaxing to not be disappointed by the lack of wind. On dead mornings we head to our favorite diner. The one that no matter what year we arrive, the same woman serves us. She's older than me and my dad can recall years ago when she was a teenager. It's amazing for me to imagine the life she leads, watching the rise and fall of the windy season year after year. While we were eating, three more sets of baby + parent sat down to eat, filling the diner. Apparently we were the first of the seasonal rush, surprising in the same way that you look up from your feet one day and notice that all the leaves have popped green.

We browsed the main street a bit more. I got my vacation yarn (oh, you know you do it, too!) from Knot Another Hat and then we sat at our favorite coffee shop while Bella napped. They make their ice cubes out of coffee there, so as your drink melts, it gets stronger. Mmmmm. Then, (with a longing glance at Mike's Ice Cream - but fully knowing I was too full to appreciate another cone) we headed out of town.



On the way out we got some subs and drove past the Little Blue House (see above for view from said house), the, uh, aptly named little blue house where we spent many a summer day being kids. Eating cereal in the morning sunbeams, dancing in the sprinklers, and endlessly playing games, as any good vacation should go.



We stopped at the falls again on our way out. Oddly enough, it was the exact same time of day. We hiked just a tiny bit more, but this time the place was swamped with tourists. There were families of all sorts all over the place. Babies in strollers (on a steep trail, seriously?), babies on shoulders, babies in bjorns. And yet. I had Bella strapped to my back with my Moby Wrap and you cannot imagine the looks and comments I got. Well, perhaps you can. I don't think many people think twice about baby wearing in Seattle, though the back carry is less common. I wouldn't have expected the Portland area to be much different, although I suppose we were just far enough away and in just enough of a tourist area that it was uncommon again. I forgot how that can feel. Not in a terrible way, just out of place.



On our way out (yes we're still leaving, you see, we like to procrastinate such things) we stopped in Portland to meet up with a friend at a coffee shop. Oh holy yum. If you ever go to Portland, be sure to only go to a coffee shop that serves Stumptown Coffee. There's nothing better. Ask anyone.





So there we were, finally ready to leave, and Portland wouldn't let us. What the heck. We drove around Portland for 45 minutes following I-5 signs that only ever led us to I-5 South. Just as we decided to take South and turn around at the next exit, we found a tiny sign that said (405), which didn't you know is synonymous with I-5 North? We decided Portland had a beef with Seattle and didn't want people to find their way back. Of course, it is a nice city and we enjoyed our traffic tour and the sights and sounds of this lively city.



Half an hour later Bella declared herself Done With Traveling. She fussed, puked and promptly fell asleep. Dave and I enjoyed the beautiful spring sun setting on a snowy Mt. St. Helens. Few drives are prettier than one in which you can see Mt. Hood, Mt. Adams, Mt. St. Helens, and Mt. Rainier in the space of two hours. When Bella woke up, all sticky and pukey, we sang songs and whistled together to keep her happy. That last hour before you reach your neighborhood is always torture. We were all barn sour.

Until that night, I hadn't realized just how much our apartment has come to feel like home. The pillows smelled like us, the potty was there welcoming us, and our lonesome bunny did hoppy laps around the place just to show off his disapproval of our vacation.

Okay, I'm officially putting an end to this post. Awkward and abrupt: the end.

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