Wordless...Thursday

From the back porch last week. Missing sunsets like this while we're socked in. Hoping for snow, trying not to hope too hard.

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Unplugged #9: Fluffy

Whew, these holidays are racing by at such a crazy speed. I'm wondering if I'll ever get on top of cleaning for guests, let alone getting a tree up. It helps that I decided that everyone will be getting cookies this year (so sorry to spoil the surprise, family). Baking may leave me with more to do, but the process is relaxing and the results are (usually) satisfying.

The theme of fluffy at Unplug Your Kids this week was timed perfectly, as we had 10 dozen cookies to make for a cookie exchange. Our first fluffy was to cream the butter and sugar together. Oh so white and fluffy. Our second fluffy was to make meringues, which are the definition of fluffy!

I like to make meringues anytime I make Spritz cookies, since spritz need yolks and meringues are just whites. It's a perfect match!

Here we are, all apronified together getting ready to whip up the egg whites.





Okay, white eggs in a white bowl are not so photogenic, but Bella loved watching the beater.



Here are the egg whites at "shaving cream" consistency, before we folded half of them with cocoa powder, squirted them messily onto a cookie sheet and stuffed them in the oven for 4 hours, haha. And all the while I managed to keep Bella's hands and face out of the eggy mess!


The yolky spritz dough after we creamed the butter to a most fluffy consistency.



And what Christmas would be complete without Spice Mice! Bella and I made the dough and amazingly enough, Dave decorated them! Check here to see how they turned out. :O) (and note the meringues on the back sheet)



And in case you're wondering, no cooking escapades in this kitchen are complete without some type of fiasco due to my scatter brained attention span:


After all was said and done and I was negotiating soup and cookies, I set the lid to my stock pot on a burner that was ON (!), and then had the brilliant idea to cool it off with water. Now, I KNOW that you do not pour hot water on a frozen windshield for this very reason, but I was just trickling warm water onto the edge to start the cooling process when POP!, just like a supernova, it burst into thousands of chunky little tempered pieces (which I then cleaned out of the grumpy disposal for the rest of the week).

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High and Low -or- The Broken Leg Lamp

Today I was chosen in a contest to receive a once-in-a-lifetime prize, a weekend retreat of sorts. It's something so important to me that it's on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list (which I'll type up eventually). I had entered the contest on a whim, feeling silly, clearing my weekend schedule Just In Case, day dreaming an acceptance speech, imagining the wonderful things I would get to do, but never actually believing I would really be there. I was simultaneously floored and through the roof to find out I had been selected. Bella and I danced around the apartment and she actually giggled to see me so happy.

In all my vast day dreams I never played the scene where Bella would not be invited and thus I would be forced to pass up this amazing opportunity. Right now Bella is just an extension of myself, my shadow strapped not so discretely to my shirt. I'm so accustomed to this lifestyle that I never give it a second thought. It's an attachment born of necessity and love, and one that I have never considered a hindrance. I completely understand the need for moms to get away, and the logistics of having a baby at a retreat, but for now my Self is Us, and I can't imagine an entire weekend without her. Not to say that I wouldn't have absolutely had a wonderful time free of babily constraints, but just knowing Bella would melt down is a solid enough argument on her behalf.

When I realized that I had created an awkward situation to assume Bella would be welcome, I insisted that I understood if they chose someone else. Just being selected had brightened my day. It's like getting to wear a badge that says I'm worth it.

(Parce que je le vaux bien...)

And it's true. Yes, it was an immense disappointment to have something amazing within reach only have it slip away, but my day is still better knowing I had been considered. That's one step ahead of where I was yesterday. Still, I'm caught by the dull ache of disappointment that fills the void after the bubble of possibility has been popped.

It's hard to be too sad considering it was a long shot anyhow, but it hits me like a slap in the face. This is first time I've felt limited by my lifestyle, my decisions in raising my little girl. I feel like Snoopy chasing his Lila only to find No Dogs Allowed blocking his every move.

Luckily it was nap time after all this tumult, so Bella and I cuddled under the covers and let the day wash over us. Children have a magical way of putting life into perspective, coloring our decisions in a new light. I may not have the retreat, but I'm strengthened by that initial moment of pure happiness, simply that it exists. There will be more retreats in the future. Today with my baby is the real once-in-a-lifetime event.

And just in case I hadn't already figured all that out, Bella snuggled up to me and said in all her wisdom, Mama, don't worry. You are right where you ought to be.

Not in so many words, but I heard it all the same.

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Savoring: after the cookie exchange

1. An army of mice assembled by my husband
2. The quiet that comes with losing my voice
3. Having no voice and thus feeling less guilty about not answering the collector's calls to tell me I'm two days late on a payment
4. Bella's usual yodel turned Wookie Cry because she, too, has a sore throat
5. Knitting night at a cozy home rather than Starbucks


6. A body so happy and wiggly with enthusiasm that photos come out blurry

7. The hand that aimlessly swats the air looking for my thumb to hold while Bella nurses. (Or just for the sake of swatting the air. God knows ten seconds of being still is ten seconds too many.)
8. Bella yelling at the top of her lungs (especially in the bathroom). Doesn't mix well with a headache, but it's so refreshing to see her delight as she explores her body's potential.

9. 2000 cookies on one table

10. My daily view. Boogers and all.

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Project Updates

Okay, so in my last hat snafu I was knitting for a four year old and the hat turned out just big enough for Bella. And now she's almost outgrown it. Will her head ever stop? I can only hope it's her vastly expanding intelligence that makes her head grow so fast. Luckily I made her pumpkin hat much larger and hopefully it will last!

But Tah-dah! Here's my latest project (the hat, not the baby):

This time despite intentions to set myself up for success, I once again neglected to make a gauge swatch, used doubled sock yarn instead of DK, and picked whichever needles I found in the basket when I got wind that this newborn girl wanted a blue hat. Finally! Another family trying to break out of pink in an otherwise monochromatic gender. And I couldn't possibly make it baby blue. It was between this (darker than it looked in the yarn shop) color and something more mother-of-pearl, and this won out because... it's not pastel.

We had a few hiccups during the hat construction. The ear flaps are too long. The dome was too shallow, and even though I added more, it's still a bit too shallow (that, of course could be Bella's nutty head making me think so). It turned out too large and when I washed it to try to shrink it (and because I hate the idea of giving a new mom a hat she can't wash so I wanted to test it), IT UNRAVELED. I caught it after just a few rows had gone out, but they were all the decreases, so it took a while to get it back in order.


Let's just say I was already exhausted by this hat when it occurred to me that I have no idea how to attach tassels. Every instruction just say attach. HOW? With super glue?! So I ended up sewing them on by hand and put a few extra stitches through each weaved in end so that they would stop unraveling. Honestly, how can wool be so slippery? If these were socks, they'd probably disintegrate as I walked....




In other news, Bella's obsession with tags (note the toy she found above in a sea of fun apron strings) has yet to dissipate. I finished her taggy blanket last month, and made a second one for this her newborn friend. Bella adores it, and although I certainly did not invent it, people who see it think it's the coolest. thing. ever. Who wouldn't want credit for that?




Notice that among Bella's favorite toys, the stuffed animals are just a vehicle for the amazingness that is Tags:

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