The sweetest thing

I crawl into my bed at night, expecting to be greeted by a snuggly little cue ball baby. Instead, you pull away, squeak and stretch from being disturbed and tickle my nose with that fuzzy head.

It has taken me these two months to get used to you - to realize that you are not my darling little Bella returned to her babyhood. It hurts me to wish I had her back to the size you are, hurts to realize that she'll never be quite that close to me again, hurts to have not yet found that level of connection with you.

We're learning to live with each other. You let me wear you now, and you let me cuddle a bit at night. And I'm learning to enjoy the space, learning to run with the moments when you choose to connect. I'm learning to let you be as different as you are.

And the best part? You smell of the sweetest ambrosia. It is the delicious smell of beeswax and honey. This is something new to me, and I can't get enough. And it's mine all day long, and all night while you tickle my nose.