Dear dearies

Dear darlings,

Another month has come and gone. A bit of cold, followed by a bit of warm (and now a bit of cold again). You two are true Seattlites, not fans of the yummy heat I crave so much. We spend hot days trying to insulate the house and evenings trying to air it out. We barely venture out because it's enough of a challenge without the heat, and I find myself craving the cool break of fall, if only so that I can keep us inside and not feel guilty. I know I'll miss our quiet evening walks. I know I'll curse the rain and the cold and the gray, but the transition to fall is always magical to me and it is finally upon us.

Bella, I cannot tell you enough how much I love to watch you learn, and how much I learn from watching you explore your world. You have an obsession with drawing snowmen - last month you started putting arms on them- arms that spanned the page, that had no connection at all to the little circles we draw (but arms no less). Then came the eyes, polka dots scattered randomly (so it seemed) across the page as you poked holes in the paper shouting eye! eye! eye!

Then Grandma taught you the Thumbkin song and when Michele came, you made her draw little punkins on your fingers. Not a day since has gone by that your fingers are free from little smiley faces. And in this new obsession, you have come to understand where eyes, noses, and mouths go. Suddenly you are drawing your own snowman circles, and in them are eyes, noses, and mouths.

You've started speaking in full sentences (sentences NOT laced with gibberish fillers) like Where are you daddy? or Who is that? You can count to ten (though sewen and eight still get their feelings hurt), and more importantly you understand that each object gets counted once. If you want more than two of something you know to ask for three, not just a more emphatic two. What a weird milestone, but only just last month these concepts were unknown to you - you could rattle off the words like a poem, but applying them in different order and to different objects is just amazing.

What is becoming even more evident to me is that you are internalizing the world around you. You already remember people better than I can. We went to the grand opening of a cafe last week, and despite the crowds, you knew exactly which people (or legs) belonged to you. And when I told you dismissively that we'd have to ask the owner for a balloon if you wanted one, you picked her out of the crowd and went right up to her and asked in your own little gibberish. I was astounded, needless to say, since you had only met her once the previous week.

Your ability to keep yourself from sleeping is reaching record breaking heights. We've taken you off milk in hopes that it will help, as you've always been sensitive to it. It takes anywhere between 1 and 3 hours to get you to sleep at night. We try to tag team it when Daddy is home, and when he's not, you usually wait up or fall asleep at my feet under the computer. And then you still wake up every hour, sometimes in a tantrum. When we moved into this house you slept perfectly. You have had a few good days recently, so I know it is achievable. I just wish it were more often.

You're just now starting to show jealousy of Lillia's nursing time. You certainly will not let me pump for her and leave you out. Last week there were days that you would not let me beyond your arm's reach. Add a bit of sticky hot weather to a head cold and I couldn't even think of picking you up in my few moments away from Lillia. Sorry baby, the unfairness of it all has begun, but I will try my hardest to let you know you are loved.

Lillia, my dear. You continue to be a little blob of a blessing. Your smiles are such a treat and help me remember that you are here. Your eyes light up so bright when you smile that you radiate peace. Your smile is bigger than your body can hold, and you tip your whole self backwards with the excitement of it. You raise your eyebrows when things excite you, and when they wiggle independently I can't help but laugh. That's talent, my child.

You are not terribly demanding, and as your personality surfaces I am reminded how hard I will have to try to make sure you do not fall into the shadow of Bella. You are so very different. And may I add that it is a good thing your cry is loud and (melo)dramatic (re:whiny) because last week when our cold gave you laryngitis you just melted into the background of every day. (You're back to full volume now, by the way.)

We're working on giving you a bottle. I'm due back at work in two weeks (er, two days now) and you have yet to let Daddy feed you (still true). In fact, you're only just now letting him hold you and play with you. You have started tugging on your left ear when you're tired, and it cracks me up. You are so easy to read, like a comfy old book that I've come back to again and again.

What else is there to say? I think I'm going to have to start dividing these letters up! Or posting more little tidbits throughout the month. :O) I'll get right on that. You two certainly keep my life busy and full.

Love,
mama

(ps i'm supposed to have the three of us together but i forgot! i'll take one soon.)